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8 Compelling Reasons People Avoid Having an Important Conversation

Anyone who knows anything about healthy relationships will tell you that to have one, you must master the art of conscious communication. Yet time after time, people in a meaningful relationship will admit it is better to avoid saying some things to their significant other, partner or spouse, because it could lead to conflict.

Below I have listed examples of many of the common reasons that people avoid talking about important issues

When these techniques are employed wisely, at the right time, they can help you avoid conflict in the moment. But when they become your default response and you routinely avoid discussing most everything, the results could be disastrous.

What are your common tendencies when communicating with your loved one? Your answers could be enlightening and offer important clues about the way you communicate.

Here are 8 Compelling Reasons that People Avoid Having an Important Conversation:

  1. If I act as if I am ok then maybe things won’t bother me as much.

  2. If I keep my feelings to myself, I am less likely to be hurt by others.

  3. If I pretend that things don’t bother me, I can avoid being vulnerable.

  4. If I refrain from discussing more sensitive issues, we can keep it light.

  5. If avoid bringing up the topics that trigger you, we won’t get into a fight.

  6. If I hint at what’s on my mind, maybe you’ll pick up on it and bring it up.

  7. If I remember the conflict that resulted last time I shared, I’ll keep quiet.

  8. If I remind myself that I have not been heard till now, I’ll avoid trying again.

How many can you relate to and which reasons do you use to put off speaking about something important? Hopefully you can find ways to share what is on your mind more often than not. If however, your find that you tend to rely on avoidance as a way to keep the peace, you won't have peace for very long and eventually it will disappear, leaving in it's place deepening mistrust, fear and conflict.

So sometimes trying to avoid conflict and discomfort can cause it. I just saying...

For information about a holistic approach to healing relationships through conscious communication,​ meaningful dialogue and active listening, go to: or

To schedule a FREE 20 minute phone consultation with Joan Stenzler, LCSW and experience what it would be like for you to work with an experienced relationship specialist, contact 516-522-0573 or

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